


Those Dreams That Haunt

by Darkestsiren



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dreams and Nightmares, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:03:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9786938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkestsiren/pseuds/Darkestsiren
Summary: After a nightmare, Laurent finds comfort, and a new sense of power, in Damen's arms.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place about six months after King's Rising. It's just another step in how I envision Laurent and Damen might deal with Laurent's past abuse. 
> 
> Again, my sincere apologies if this is in any way problematic for anyone. I am trying to handle this with as much gentleness and respect as possible.

Most days were fine. Laurent got through them the same way he always had, with his intellect, his rigid control, his cold, feigned disdain. But something was different now. He was different, now. 

It was because of Damen. His dark prince. The man who’d looked at him and seen the truth of who he was instead of the facade Laurent had worked so hard to cultivate. Damen, so gentle and attentive that it made Laurent want to be a better person just so he could deserve him.

Nights were the hardest. That’s when the differences of his new life were starker, harder to ignore. He’d never had nightmares before. He’d always held himself too tightly, even in rest, to allow his thoughts to stray to what had happened, what had been forced upon him. 

But now. With Damen. Laurent’s cast-iron control was weakening with every glorious touch, every mind-numbing kiss, every inch of Damen’s bronze and honey skin that pressed into him with tenderness and love, with that amazing heat that sizzled between them until Laurent didn’t know where his own body ended and Damen’s began.

And so… 

 

_A large, calloused hand gripped him from behind. Forced him forward over the table. Laces united, pants pushed down. A hand over his mouth as his uncle forced himself inside, slamming him hard against the rough edge of the table, splitting him open. Laughter._

_“He’ll never really love you, Laurent. Who could love you? You’re nothing. A  disappointment. A used, icy shell.”_

 

Laurent awoke with a sharp cry, clapping his hand over his mouth. He shuddered and forced back his sobs, praying Damen wouldn’t wake. The room was night dark, just the soft glow of a faint moon filtering in through thin curtains. Laurent slid out of bed and went to the window, desperate for air. 

His uncle had never said those exact words to him, of course, but Laurent felt them as if he had. Crushing. True. 

“It’s not true, Laurent.” Damen’s sleep-thick voice came from a few feet away. He knew better by now than to approach Laurent when he was shaking and clammy, risen from sleep by who knew what. 

Laurent didn’t turn, only drew in Damen’s presence like a lifeline. 

“You aren’t any of the things your uncle accused you of being.” Damen took a few steps closer, slowly.

“Some of it is true, Damianos.”

Damen was right behind him now, an arm’s length away. If he wanted, Laurent could have stepped back into his embrace. He didn’t.

“No, it isn’t.” Firm in the night’s closeness. “He could never see you. All he saw was an obstacle. Everything he did was designed to break you. He didn’t know you couldn’t be broken. He didn’t know you are made of finer stuff than most.”

Damen’s sweet words pierced Laurent, breaking him into pieces. How could this amazing man think so highly of him? How could he ever be worthy of his love, after everything he’d done, everything he’d allowed? 

Tears slid down his cheeks and he was falling, folding into himself, disappearing. Damen was there then, strong arms circling him, holding him up, lips whisper soft on his neck.

“I see you, Laurent,” he said. “I see everything you are, and I love you. All of you.”

Laurent couldn’t speak, and he didn’t know what he would say if he could. He couldn’t tell Damen that his love only made Laurent hate himself more. Only sharpened the bitterness of his own failings. Instead he let Damen turn him, let him wrap him up in his warm embrace, let himself be comforted. 

After a long while Damen spoke softly. His breath ruffled Laurent’s hair. “I know you don’t believe me yet, Laurent, and that’s ok. I know it will take time for you to be ok, for you to see yourself the way I see you. But I am here and I will give you anything you need, for as long as you need it. I’m not going anywhere. You’re not alone anymore. You never have to be alone again.” 

Even in his misery something in Laurent’s chest eased at Damen’s promise. He looked into Damen’s eyes, taking strength from the openness of his gaze. 

“I don’t deserve you, Damen.” Laurent heard the tremor in his voice and took a slow breath. “I’ve been…” He couldn’t find the word. 

“What, Laurent?” Damen’s tone was gentle. “You’ve been hurt? Mistreated? Used, and cheated, and betrayed?”

Laurent cringed into Damen’s chest, his uncles’s accusations ringing in his ears. 

“I know. I know, Laurent.” Damen lifted Laurent’s chin until he could look into his eyes. He wiped the tears from Laurent’s face so gently Laurent thought he’d break. “It doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve happiness, and love. You deserve everything, Laurent. Everything.”

Laurent shook his head but Damen soothed him with warm hands on his back, pressing Laurent into his chest to stifle the shaking. They stood in the cool moonlight. The breeze was warm, still rich with summer, though fall would soon be upon them. Laurent drew a breath and leaned away, standing on his own. He looked out the window, gaze unfocused, just breathing, trying to believe the beautiful things Damen said to him. He wanted to believe them. 

“Give yourself time, Laurent.”

“It’s been six month, Damianos. Surely that’s long enough.”

Damen smiled. Laurent didn’t look but he knew Damen was smiling. He could feel it, like sunlight on his skin. “Always so impatient, Your Majesty.” Teasingly. He drew a timid finger down Laurent’s arm. A tremor shot through him. Laurent locked his muscles on instinct. “So demanding.”

“Cast-iron bitch.” 

Damen recoiled, as though Laurent had struck him. He supposed he had, in a way. “That’s not… You’re not. You never were.” Through his teeth.

Damen, his loyal defender. Laurent fought a smile and moved away. He was aware of his thin chiton, the only thing covering his pale skin. He sank down on the bed and hoped Damen would give him a minute to gather himself before joining him. 

A sigh, long and troubled, yet patient. Damen watched him from beneath heavy brows. He was naked, his skin glimmering with silver in the moon’s glow. Laurent swallowed back a wave of desire, and the accompanying shame that inevitably followed. Damen tilted his head, his gaze sharpening.

Curse him, Laurent thought. How can he read me so easily? He’d have to be better at controlling his emotions, his reactions. 

Damen saw that too, Laurent realized, too late. Damen sat beside him, leaning forward, his large arms propped on his knees. “I would never do what he did.” Quietly. “I’d never use your feelings against you.”

Laurent closed his eyes, felt his jaw tighten. 

“Auguste would want you to be happy.” Barely breathed. 

The words rolled through Laurent like an icy wind. He sat there, rigid, fighting. It was still there between them. Death. 

Finally, “Yes.”

He felt Damen breathe again, felt the warmth that came off his body. Laurent ached for that heat, for the comfort of Damen’s touch, his arms. Yet, he held himself straight. Separate. As he had for so long. 

Damen leaned back, casually resting his weight on an extended arm. He watched Laurent and waited. 

He always waited. It was how this game always went between them. Damen pushed, then retreated, waiting for Laurent to meet his challenge. He could wait indefinitely. Laurent hated it. And loved it. He loved that Damen never took, just waited for the offering. He loved that he was gentle and slow, the way Laurent liked. He loved that when Damen came inside him, Laurent felt as though he held within himself all that Damen was: strong and honest and filled with sunshine. 

Laurent unclasped his hands and let one fall onto Damen’s well-muscled thigh. His skin was smooth and soft, despite years of training and sun. He heard Damen’s breath hitch and smiled to himself. He secretly delighted in this. Being able to arouse Damen with just a touch. He let his eyes move to the side, careful not to turn his head, and glanced into Damen’s lap. Not fully hard, but well on the way. Damen’s cock was just as glorious as the rest of him, full and heavy and long, with a finely shaped head and a pleasing, straight shaft. The veins stood out deliciously and Laurent felt his stomach curl, felt his own cock, flushed and hot under his chiton. 

His hand trailed higher, the softness of Damen’s body hair ticking his fingers. He drew his touch into the warm crevice where thigh met body. Damen stifled a gasp. Laurent didn’t look back but he allowed himself the pleasure of dipping his chin, turning his head so he could look at Damen’s body properly. His cock was laid slightly to the right, straining as it came to attention. 

Laurent was up and kneeling between Damen’s legs before he even realized he’d decided to do so. He met Damen’s startled gaze and saw his own wide eyes mirrored in them. 

“You don’t have to,” Damen said. 

“I know.” Laurent rarely knelt for anyone, even Damen. He pleasured with his mouth even less. 

Here, now, he felt the unexpected need to pierce that barrier, to conquer that fear. To take this act back from his uncle. 

Laurent lowered his head and licked a line up Damen’s thigh to his sack, tonguing at the warmth there. Damen, never one to hide his enjoyment, let his head loll back, eyes falling closed beautifully. He was ethereal in the pale light, despite his size, the ridges and valleys of his body high-lighted in silver. Laurent teased him with tongue and lips. He licked up Damen’s shaft, excruciatingly slow, circled his exposed head, lapped at the bead of moisture that had formed on the tip, then swallowed him fast, taking Damen’s long cock to the back of his throat. 

Damen gasped. He fisted the sheets, knuckles white. He knew not to touch him. 

Laurent smiled. He drew off, took him in again. Kissed and lathered and played, learning what made Damen tense up, what made him arch his back, breathe in sharply. What made him whine and moan. Laurent found that he was pleased, that he enjoyed bringing pleasure to Damen. He enjoyed being the giver, the one in control. 

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. 

Laurent didn’t let him come. He stood, pushed Damen back onto the bed, took the phial of oil from the table by the bed and poured several drops over his fingers. 

Damen watched him, heat in his eyes. 

“Don’t touch me,” Laurent instructed. Damen gave his assent but his eyes begged. Laurent climbed onto the bed slowly, his knees between Damen’s, spreading him wide. Damen raised a dark brow but didn’t protest. Laurent hovered over Damen, propped up with a hand near Damen’s shoulder, resisting the urge to press his body into Damen’s. He reached down. 

Moonlight lit the room with silver, deepening the shadows, and the breeze brought in the sweet scents of jasmine and roses. Gentle fingers drew the circle of Damen’s entrance and Laurent relished the little surprised sound that came from his lips. 

“Have you ever received before?” Laurent asked, his voice husky. His cock hung, hard and heavy between them. 

Damen looked up into Laurent’s eyes. “No.”

Laurent lifted a pale, arched brow. 

“No one’s ever offered to take me,” Damen explained. “And I’ve never asked.”

“No desire for it?”

“Not until recently.”

Laurent smirked, letting some of the heat in his belly come into his eyes. “Would you like me to take you, Damianos?”

Damen blushed, looking more vulnerable than a man his size should. “Yes,” he breathed, eyes locked on Laurent’s. 

Laurent held his gaze, feeling his face soften. He bent, resting his forehead against Damen’s, and closed his eyes, fighting to control his breathing. It hit him hard, harder than he’d expected. Damen, with all his massive strength and dominance, wanted this, wanted Laurent inside him. Laurent felt a shattering somewhere inside himself. A sudden weight. A duty to make this as different from his own first time as was humanly possible. To give Damen pleasure instead of pain, tenderness instead of indifference, love instead of contempt. 

“Have you ever given before?” A whisper. A glimmer of fear. 

Laurent lifted his head and forced himself to meet Damen’s eyes. He shook his head slowly. 

“A first for both of us, then.” 

Laurent asked the question with his eyes. 

A long moment passed, silent but for their breath. “Yes.” Damen leaned up and caught Laurent’s lips. Laurent melted into him, letting the heat of Damen’s kiss sink into him. He pressed careful fingers against Damen’s entrance, circling again, slow and steady. Heat spiraled down Laurent’s spine, seeped into his belly, his arms, his legs. His skin slid against Damen’s, rough and silky all at once, and Laurent felt his cock twitch with impatience.

Laurent pressed an oiled finger inside Damen, relishing Damen’s gasp, catching it with his lips. He circled, stretching Damen slowly, letting the heat build. Damen’s arms came around him unconsciously and Laurent froze. 

Damen flinched, remembering his promise, and forced his arms back onto the bed, fists tangling in the sheets. Laurent pressed in deeper. 

Damen broke the kiss, his head tipping back to moan into the night. He was beautiful, his cheeks warm and dark, black-lashed eyes squeezed shut, his breath caught in his throat as Laurent moved inside him. Laurent pressed his lips to the column of Damen’s throat and fought the urge to grind against him. He added a second finger, stretched slowly, searched for that place inside him that would make him shake and scream. When he found it, Damen’s back came off the bed, his surprised shout echoing off the chamber’s walls. 

Laurent smiled, power surging through him. He pressed again.

“Laurent!” Damen cried, his voice ragged. His knees came up slightly, unconsciously opening himself for Laurent. 

Laurent drew his lips over Damen’s collarbone, laving the hollow there, dipping down to trace the rounded swell of his chest, the point of his brown nipple. Inside him, Laurent curled his fingers again and Damen cried out, begging. Laurent pumped into him, hitting Damen in just the right place over and over until Damen was quivering beneath him. 

“Please,” Damen whimpered. “Please, Laurent.”

He felt raw, stripped. Awed. “Patience,” Laurent whispered, adding a third finger. Damen shivered. 

“Let me touch you,” Damen pleaded. Broken. “Let me touch you, Laurent. Please.”

Laurent looked at him. Damen was tense, straining, his face crumpled, his arms stretched out straight to either side, flexed. Taut. Laurent stilled, unsure.

“Damen.”

Damen opened his eyes, finding Laurent’s gaze. His dark eyes were shining, yearning, alive with want. “I just want to hold you.”  

Laurent wasn’t sure he could do this with Damen’s hands on him. He wasn’t sure he could he do it without his hands on him. Slowly, Laurent nodded, breathing in surprised relief as Damen’s arms circled his waist, held him close. The kiss was sharp, teeth and tongues and need. Heat and want built between them, skin moving over skin, Laurent’s fingers sliding in and out of Damen, lips and breath melding together.

Finally, Laurent withdrew his hand. Damen gasped, his hips curling up, demanding. Laurent whispered soft words in his ear, poured oil on his cock. Damen’s large hand took hold of him, spread the oil, placed him at his opening. 

“Stop me if it hurts,” Laurent told him. 

Damen nodded, eyes blown wide.

Laurent pushed in, slow and careful. His mind flashed with a hundred images. He forced them away. 

Damen flinched, locking down. 

Laurent froze. “Breathe, Damen,” he said. Too stiff. He knew this, this fear, this pain. He looked into Damen’s face, saw him grimace, saw him grit his teeth, squeeze his eyes shut. 

No— 

Laurent started to shake, panic buzzing in his chest. He heard his uncle, felt his foul breath, hot and fragrant against his skin, felt him slam into him, unrelenting. 

“Laurent.” Soft. 

He was breaking, splintering apart, and there was no one to help him. 

“Laurent.” More strongly. A hand on his cheek, warm and rough. “Look at me.”

Laurent pried his eyes open. Damen was watching him with careful eyes. With love and desire. 

“I want this. I want you,” Damen reminded him. 

Laurent saw the truth of his words written on his face. He drew a shaky breath. Another. “Damen.” 

Damen drew him down, caught his lips, kissed him delicately. Laurent kissed him back,  gratefully, letting the softness of Damen’s mouth numb his mind, awaken his body. 

They moved together, a gentle dance of ebb and flow, of lips and skin and breath, and when Laurent pushed inside him again Damen moaned in pleasure, angling his hips to receive him. His hands were gentle on Laurent’s hips. Laurent loved him slowly, and, though it was he who was in control, he who set the pace, Laurent felt himself enveloped by Damen’s warmth, surrounded by his fluid strength, swaddled in his seemingly infinite gentleness. His love. 

“Damen.” A gasp.

A hand in Laurent’s hair, softly. Lips, warm and delicate at his throat, so achingly sweet, adoring. Laurent was melting, the broken, burned parts of his soul falling adrift, one by one. He let it happen, let himself come undone with Damen beneath him, let himself be lost inside the man he loved, the man who loved him. And when he came, shuddering, his breath hitching, mouth open on a silent scream, Damen held him close, gasping his name and shaking, his own pleasure spilling over.

Laurent came back to himself slowly. He was aware of heat beneath him, the softness of skin under his lips, the closeness of arms around him, languid and perfect. The moonlight, pale and still. He drew in a long breath and an embarrassingly happy smile pulled at his mouth.  

Damen sifted his fingers through Laurent’s hair, twisting and curling in the short strands. He nuzzled into Laurent’s neck and sighed contentedly. Laurent shifted as gently as he could, freezing when he felt Damen tense up. 

“Try to relax,” he instructed softly. He pressed his softening cock further inside Damen before pulling out as gently as he could. Damen grimaced, but he didn’t lock down. When he was free, Laurent smiled down at Damen and leaned down to kiss him, once, before he got up to find a cloth. 

Damen grinned, shaking his head. “My Laurent,” he said. Teasing. “So fastidious.”

“Would you prefer we scrape your seed off ourselves in the morning?” Laurent asked, petulant. 

Damen smiled, his amusement clear. “I would prefer you not leave my arms. Ever.”

Warmth swirled in his belly and Laurent felt a shiver go through him. He returned to the bed, cloth in hand, and let the softness he felt show in his eyes.

He wiped them both clean and settled back into Damen’s embrace. Damen made a pleased sound as he wound his arms around Laurent, pulled him in close. Laced their fingers together. Laurent was almost asleep when Damen spoke. 

“When did the dreams start?”

Laurent considered his answer. He lifted his head and looked into Damen’s eyes. “When I started to feel safe.”

A pained smile flashed over Damen’s face, quickly smoothed. “Safe enough to relax?”

A nod. 

“I’m glad you feel safe with me, Laurent. And, I’ll be here, every night, to fight the memories with you.”

Laurent bowed his head, part in shame, part in gratitude. He pressed a kiss into Damen’s collarbone and settled his head on his enormous chest. Damen’s arms tightened around him, safe and secure. 

“Will you take me again in the morning?” Damen whispered.

Laurent smiled, sunlight in his veins. “Whenever you want, Damianos.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! It came to me as I was driving and I just had to get it down. Please let me know what you thought, I love hearing from you wonderful people! And thanks for reading!


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